#!/bin/sh
#The Unix Guru’s View of Sex
unzip;
strip;
touch;
grep;
finger;
mount;
fsck;
more;
yes;
umount;
sleep;

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And shouldn’t wear red ones…

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A Terror Wrist!

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What do you do if your girlfriend calls whilst you’re on the toilet taking a dump?

Masterbate

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There was an Austrlian bloke who went to his local Doctor to talk about a problem he was having. He walks into the Docotors office and says in his stutter “DDDDDDD Doctor. IIIIII I hhhh have a problem. MMMMMM my dddddddd penis iiiiiis hhhhhhhh big. It iiiiiiiiiiiiii is rurururururururur ruining my llllllllll life.” So the doctor ask to have a look. The paitent unzips his pant and out rolls an incredibly large dick. The doctor says in amazement ” Sorry mate, not to sure about this I’m going to have to send you to a specialist in Sydney”

So off he goes to Sydney to see a specialist. He walks into the specialists office and says. “MMMMMMMM Doctor I HHHHHHH have aaaaaaaaaaa serious ppppppppp problem. IIIIIIIIIi have a llllllllllllll masive pppppppp cock. It’s mmmmmmmmmm making my llllllllll life unnnnnnnbearable”. The specialist says, “Well give me a look and I’ll see what I can do.” So he unzips his pants and out rolls his massive dick. The doc looks stunned and writes him out a referal to the world leading penis surgeon in the U.S.

So off he goes to the U.S.A. He arrives at the surgeons office and says “DDDDDDD Doc, yyyyyyyy you gotta hhhhhhhhelp me. My ccccccccc dick is mmmmmmmmmassive. MMMMMMM My life iiiiiiiiiiiis hhhhhhhhhorible because of iiiiiiiiiiiiit.” The Surgeon asks “Ok give me a look at your problem”. The man unzips his fly and out rolls his massive dddddddddd member. The surgeons says “ahh not a problem at all. This can be sorted with  a quick operation” and books him in for surgery.

About a year after his surgery the man decides to go back to the U.S and thank the surgeon because his life had become fantastic now. So he rocks up to the surgeons office and start to thank him by saying “Doc, my life is fantastic now. My sex life has improved dramatically, I’ve been promoted at work. Look even my stutter has gone. Thank you so much Doctor. And the doctor replies “NNNNNNNNNNNNN Not a ppppppppp problem”

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